GOP suffers sudden judicial-activism failure

Washington Gov. Christine Gregoire’s closest-ever gubernatorial-race victory over Republican Dino Rossi stands, thanks to a ruling by Chelan County Superior Court Judge John Bridges.

Yes, there were some bad votes in the mix, Bridges acknowledged, but the GOP failed to prove that Rossi would’ve won had they not been included. He also found that Gregoire had received no illegal votes, although it appeared Rossi had received a few.

Bowing to the inevitable at long last, after having had recount after recount and a good run at the court system, Rossi said in an evening press conference he was through contesting the election.

If at first you don’t succeed: Pulling out all the stops, the GOP’s lawyers had brought in an alleged expert on these matters. The strategy was to sell Bridges on the idea of applying something called “proportional deduction.” This gets deep, but as we understand it, proportional deduction works this way:

Teams of vote adjusters are sent out to various counties in which irregularities were discovered. Each team is equipped with a kit, which it sets up and operates until a rectified vote total is arrived at. First, a pin is mounted on the stage of a microscope. Then, a quantity of angels are deposited on the head of the pin. Earbuds from an iPod are set so as to straddle the microscope stage, and music (Lawrence Welk, of course) is then played to get the angels dancing.

A trained observer watches through the microscope, carefully noting how many angels there are and how many fall down or stop dancing within a 30-minute period. If a majority of angels falls or stops dancing, the total of those who fell or stopped dancing was to be subtracted from Gregoire’s vote total in that county. If, however, a majority of angels continued dancing to the half hour, their number was to be added to Rossi’s vote total.

If this adjustment failed to swing a county for Rossi, the exercise was to be repeated the following day.

Wisely, Bridges called the GOP attorney before his bench and in a lowered voice asked if this rigamarole was really a “Saturday Night Live” skit. That, before ruling, “If you think I’m going along with this nonsense, you, sir, are certifiably a mental case.”

Oh, OK, we made that last part up. But our humor does sort of capture the contrived, almost whimsical, remedy the GOP side advocated.

The serious part of all this centers on a series of ironic, contradictory positions Washington state Republicans have adopted, given GOP statements and machinations in Florida five years back, not to mention the party’s open hostility to litigating in general and judge-made law in particular.

Mindful of these things, no doubt, Bridge is quoted in a news story on today’s court outcome:

As best we can recall, that echoes sentiments expressed by the likes of the Federalist Society gang — C. Boyden Gray, Ted Olson, James Baker, et al — that shoehorned George W. Bush’s way into the White House in 2000. But hey, that was anything-to-win-time then and this was anything-to-win-time now.